The Sun

Can you stay true to who you are and what you are destined to shine, even as the world cracks and shifts? This rock took more heart and patience than any of the previous ones. It transformed completely several times, even though the intention of sun energy was the same throughout.

On the first day, I rubbed crushed dandelion onto the surface and pressed yellow petals into a pool of white paint. I watched a river of blue stream around the sundial center and continue over the edge into the natural world. The wind was wild that day. With the murky water whipping up tiny waves in the cleansing dish and my hand steadying a couple near-empty paint bottles, I crouched low to coat the rock a starry blue. I felt both rushed and uplifted by the weather. In resistance, the on-and-off sun blinking through speeding clouds seemed annoying. Just break through and be calm. But in surrender and celebration, I painted with nature, not against. The charged energy carved beautiful hills and irresdescent waves in the sparkling sky. Because of the way the atmosphere feels and breathes, I feel and breathe----the petal-made sun taught me this. The natural connection is my birthright.

But in the days moving forward with this rock, I watched the colors rapidly change as the sun evolved stronger. Occasionally, it was ugly. Where were all the other suns? In a vacuum so cold and void, the yellow burst out full volume, if only to look around and find comfort in its own powerful light. Solar plexus brilliant, it led not by support, but by need. I let the natural center fearlessly inspire a take-over of sunburst yellow, bold enough to stand out in a meadow of green. Not angry----confident. A solid, unwavering beam needed to shine in order to break through the dangerous labels and weak spots of others. The Golden Rule: treat people the way you want to be treated. This certain sun affirmed sanity. This sun taught me strength and belief in myself.

But still, I felt that the rock wasn't done. A solid bright yellow was needed, but it didn't speak entirely to the fullness of my soul. In dipping back into nature, I let dragon green fantasize it strange. I sprinkled paprika and turmeric salt into the fiery center, allowing a coat of vegetable oil to glisten the red-sand mountain. What do you want to become? At this point, feeding and nourishing that golden center was all I cared about. I let the oil drip a protective sheen over the pocked cells of the rock. Back and forth, my art and I teach each other trust and love. I don't have to see the bigger picture yet. This sun teaches me to simply be.

In time, my fluid spirit returns in the form of purpley-blue. A few streams turn green, naturally, as thick yellow spots rise to touch the airborne hue. In the middle of the salty sea, I coat the red sun with a green spiral core, hoping to empower the multi-colored creation earthly strong. As the colors and textures mix, the rock solidifies into a bumpy little creature. I want to hold it. I'm a little sheepish about it, as I warn my boyfriend that the rock painting is not done: "It's in an awkward, in between phase." But still, I love it. For all its imperfections and toad-like skin, it is one of the most beautiful little oddities I've ever seen. There is nothing this amphibious animal couldn't become.

And sure enough, in time, evolution, and magical reversion, the world before man----the sun before the hole----renews in full. With the croak of the frog, a ripple from the heart-filled center echoes through space, smoothing out the bumps. Amoda Maa's teachings prove true as what could have been perceived as ugly blossoms in the light of loving hands, gifted from the start to understand.

I raise my palms and fingers up above in this truth----in this sun that fears no emotion. I raise my heart and wisdom over mountains and across the ocean to a place and time where I could have easily saved myself, had I only known who I am today. Had I only granted myself the space. The metamorphosis is real.

Healing back to nature, back to wholesome, back to self-love is the ultimate light, and with all my layers and experience, I will never stop shining that light, for myself and for others, as long as I am here.