Narrative Release

I've rearranged the sofa chair and foot cushion this morning to sit closer to the glass door, to write in the light of the illuminated snow-capped mountain. I adore that mountain with all my heart. It stands above the trees and reaches toward the sky like a god, it's peak white with angel dust, glowing in that distant, higher space.

What is it about you, snow-capped mountain, that inspires my heart and makes me feel so alive? What is it about nature in general? There is no fear when I'm with you. There is no sense of smallness or end either. You reflect my life here, grounded with the weight of your magnitude, while at the same time, raising my elevation and ability to be. In your sacred geometry, you reign in all the magic, every piece of the journey that makes it both enlightening on a human level and unforgettable in the way it strengthens and heals my soul.

Is it wrong to love my story? Is it wrong to adore the narrative of life and everything it has come to teach me? It's funny how the more I read, heal, and live meditatively, the more I come across the notion of letting go. To enjoy the mind rather than let the brain control you, it's important to see through the various narratives of thought and live more moment-to-moment, fully feeling and fully aware. This releases any leftover identity as victim, any story of woe, attachment, torment, or pain that could be blocking the true beauty and enjoyment of being. The meditative, natural, and far more freeing way is to be able to sense and see from a deeper place, able to highlight what is most meaningful and beneficial to your soul, while at the same time, being able to release everything, all the stories, thoughts, feelings, and mental tracks in order to tap into that tingly, expansive, "one with everything" kind of existence.

Nature is this. In the core of my being, I am this too.

In this way, I guess it's not wrong to love my story. It's not a narrative I'm attached to, not one that defines or concludes my life in a one-track, narrow-minded view. Instead, it is far vaster and more seasoned. Far more present too. Much like the snow-capped mountain, I see beyond the trees and the pages already written. It's not a matter of the brain piecing together a sequence, but more so a starry map of snow-capped peaks that glow all at once. It's the goodness, the complexity, the elevated experience of it all, and in the end, the innate ability and knowing I always had. In raising myself by pen, I raised myself spiritually, and in this way, I was gifted the ability to connect creatively and let go gracefully. You see, I have always been poised to heal. I have always been destined to illuminate my mind much like the various snow-capped mountains that illuminated my way all across the country.

But now, I am asked by life to release this story, release this attachment to mountain thread and creatively-charged energy in order to settle back into the moment, back into my earthly, heart-centered life as you wake up. It's important to remind myself that my life is heart-centered because the creatively-charged mind does have a tendency to harden the heart a bit when the flow is disrupted. From my latest reading, it is the marriage between the illuminated heart and the illuminated mind that I'm currently working on. A balance is needed in order to find true lasting and realistic peace. The mountain has taught me strength and a heightened way of being. Now, I must welcome back in a fluidity and softness that you know my heart to be.

Can we meld the spiritual ways? Can we combine and highlight and learn and evolve them all as one? Yes, of course we can. You and I have been doing it our whole lives, so why would we stop now? In trying out a prayer, in becoming comfortable with the idea of prayer itself, let us not fear anymore the problems and people that are no longer in our lives. In combining the meditative way, let us not fear any thoughts or memories themselves. Instead, let us highlight the grandest peaks, the greatest lessons, the wisest people, and the most inspiring projects. Let us open up and connect the deepest and most sincere hearts. Let us uplift and support each other. Let us enjoy the complex and the simple, the mundane and extraordinary. Let us adore our time apart in creative flow just as much as our time spent together, warm and open without resistance to the moment.

And so this is the part where the narrative truly becomes released. This is the part where I relax my mind and put my pen down. This is the part when you come home from doing our laundry, and I hug you and kiss you and make us both dinner. This is the part where the spiritual becomes grounded and human, warm with the cocooned love of winter and creative in the early spring-time seeding.